Delayed Fulfillment

Last night Christy and I finally found out the date when we officially take possession of our house. While we closed on it five weeks ago, the sellers requested to stay in the house until their new house's construction was finished. The rental income has supplied us with enough money to completely cover the first mortgage payment, but in the last several days we have become impatient. We have also become weary due to the strain of trying to find the right furniture. The house has several atypical color schemes, for which finding matching furniture is difficult. It is even more difficult thanks to our faulty memories of those colors. Occupying the house for a few days will solve that problem. In ten more days we should be comfortably moved into our house-I hope.

Desperate Tourists Try To Escape Vacation

CANCUN (AP) Thousands of desperate tourists stranded for six days by Hurricane Wilma besieged airports and tour offices today as officials faced evacuating 22,000 visitors with only 6,000 airline seats out of Cancun a day. "Now I know how those people in New Orleans felt," said financial banker Angela Benitez. "We were forced to subsist on a diet of rice and beans and room temperature white wine. Several days of desperation is no way to live."
Says Microsoft CFO Marie Schmidt, "I knew these bad storms happened in the U.S. But who would have thought they would hit a paradise resort in Mexico?" Added Dr. Ronald Smith, "I won't make this mistake again. Next year my wife and I are staying far away from water, as our vacation will be to the landlocked country of Syria. I always wanted to go halfway around the world."

In less reported news, Roderigo Gonzalez was seen walking the beach, looking for washed up debris with which to rebuild his fishing boat and his house for his eight children, wife, and three grandparents.

The preceding article is currently the lead story on the front page of cnn.com. It has been somewhat altered for the purposes of this blog.

Building Ain't Rocket Science

Here is an article about trends in house building. After spending the summer looking at houses, it is no surprise to me that builders are about ten years behind the times. Fireplaces are nice, but they leave you with little flexibility on where to place your furnishings. Many of the new constructions don't have a place to hang up a plasma, assuming you don't want to put it above the fireplace, which is sometimes too high. I distinctly remember one house where the thermostat was hung near the middle of the wall.

Two To Watch

Adam Carolla's new TLC show, The Adam Carolla Project, is very funny. Carolla dominates the show with his clever observations and witty repartee. We see his work as a contractor on a construction project (building a house to take advantage of the hot California market), and we also see parts of his personal life, including interactions with his wife. I might have to check out Carolla's late night talk show on Comedy Central to see if it is equally as entertaining.

Speaking of Comedy Central, The Showbiz Show with David Spade is nothing more than an expansion of Spade's Hollywood Minute back in his Saturday Night Live days, but let's face it--that is what he does best. Not dumb movies, not lame sitcoms. Making fun of celebrities (including himself) is what Spade was born to do.

I recorded that Tanya Tucker reality show for Christy. It can't possibly be good, can it? I'll report back with her opinion.

A Face Made For Standard Definition

My cable company just added a high definition NBC channel. That, combined with the fact that Saturday Night Live is now in high definition made me curious enough to tune in. First, I didn't see the beginning of the show, so I wasn't clued in that Catherine Zeta Jones was the host. After watching two skits I still didn't know that Jones was the host. She was unrecognizable. Not in a negative way, though. She just looked different, maybe due to her past pregnancy.

On the negative front, OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH TINA FEY'S FACE? I have long heard that high definition would be an unwelcome addition for some newscasters, whose facial imperfections could previously be obscured by a layer of makeup. A good high definition broadcast conveys stunning detail. That detail can be realized on a large screen, such as my 92 incher. Which brings me to the news segment, and Tina Fey. You are probably aware that Mrs. Fey has a scar on the left side of her face. But there is more going on than just that scar. It is hard for me to describe. I'll just say that the area below the scar running down to her chin is not what you expect to see from a television personality. Not quite as noteworthy are the acne scars on the right side of her face below her eye, but they help to illustrate just how much I was able to see. It's not that she's The Elephant Woman. It's just not what I'm used to seeing on tv or in movies, where everyone has this glossy prettiness. Makeup and flattering camerawork are often the difference makers between ordinariness and beauty. I have a feeling that the makeup person screwed up big time, not having anticipated the hazards of high definition in what was Tina Fey's first episode of the fall season.

The potential for improvement in Tina Fey's makeup is the one thing that might get me to watch another episode of Saturday Night Live. I won't be tuning in for the entertainment value, as the show's attempts at comedy are absolutely dreadful.

Music To Nauseate The Savage Beast

I just had the misfortune of hearing a remake of the classic Extreme song, More Than Words. Oh, the humanity! I never cared much for Extreme, but what this "Frankie J" character did to this song should be considered a crime against humanity. I'm still reeling.

What happened to popular music? Admittedly, there have always been songs that I wanted to shield my ears from, but at least it was somewhat listenable. Ever since the demise of grunge about 10 years ago, pop music has deteriorated to the point that it is now used to torture prisoners of war. Make them listen to Hollaback Girl for an hour straight and they'll be begging to tell you where Osama is and renounce their almighty Muhammad at the same time. Some song called Photograph just came on the radio. Echo and all. Blech.

But following up that garbage is Gorillaz. Odd. In case you didn't know, Gorillaz is a band that includes the former lead singer of Blur. Blur received little airplay in this country, even though their songs are much more original and far superior to those of Oasis, their rivals in their native Britain. It is ironic that Blur had to morph into a fake band (Gorillaz is represented by cartoon characters) in order to enter the mainstream in this country.

Also being played heavily now is Beverly Hills by Weezer. Weezer just never seems to go away, and I can't say that I'm complaining. Except for the insufferable Buddy Holly, (Weezer's Shiny Happy People) Weezer's output has been welcome. Curiously, it took about 5 months for Beverly Hills to take off, as it was being played on alternative radio way back in late April. The Gorillaz song had also been around a while before being embraced by top 10 radio.

But for every decent song, there are ten that are embarrassingly bad. I wonder if any of the new Fiona will make it. Her performance on the VH-1 benefit for Katrina victims (about a month ago) made me remember what real singing is.

The Madness of Roger Ebert

Roger Ebert remains one of the most thought provoking men in our country. His writing is second to none in the reviewing world. However something disturbing has arisen concerning Ebert's reviews. He seems to be going soft. He has always been more favorable than the average critic, but not to the extent that he is now. I remember a friend of mine making a comment a while ago that Ebert seemed to like everything. Well, now that almost appears to be the case. Take a look at this last weekend's openers, a weak crop that dropped without a lot of fanfare, although Elizabethtown received a fair amount of promotion. Elizabethtown rated only 32% favorable on the tomatometer. Even worse was Domino, with only 13%. His defense of the earlier release Flightplan (36%) leaves a lot to be desired. The idea that the absurdity of Flightplan's situations is apparent only in retrospect denies the existence of the quick thinking audience member to whom this absurdity is apparent while watching the movie. Wow, that last sentence was clumsily worded, but I'm too tired to do anything about it. There goes my Pulitzer Prize for blogging.

Hopefully Richard Roeper isn't being infected by Ebert's benevolence. Roeper agreed with Ebert's reviews this last weekend. Agreement between the two is rare in itself, so it was shocking to see Roeper's concurrence about last week's subpar selection.

Whatever the case, I'll still be DVRing their show every week. Gems like their blistering reviews of Dirty Love a few weeks ago are not to be missed.

Everybody Hates The New Network Shows

First off, if it was not for my DVR I wouldn't see any of this crap. Not only does the DVR make automatically recording shows easy, but it also lets me fast forward through the ponderous commericals.

Most of the new shows this fall are much like the new shows of last fall, and the new shows of the year before that--they aren't worth watching. Excluding reality shows, the situation has really been dire for network tv. NBC has been so bad that its two top shows are ER and Law and Order. They might as well try to bring back Seinfeld and Friends. Most of those actors could use the work. Since Jerry was the least interesting character on the show, you wouldn't even need Seinfeld himself.

NBC does have one new show to be proud of. My Name Is Earl has done reasonably well in the ratings, and I kinda like it. It isn't great, but it offers up enough laughs and just enough smart writing to be a success for the time being. But the premise might get really old fast. And eventually the ex-wife subplot needs to be curtailed if not entirely removed. How many different ways can she try to get Earl's money? Even Wile E. Coyote had his limits.
B

Martha Stewart's attempt at The Apprentice has failed miserably in the ratings, and it has already been moved to a later time slot. Will the real Martha Stewart please stand? People have claimed in the past that Martha Stewart is a real bitch/taskmaster. None of that is on display here. She even writes a letter, almost apologizing to the person she fired. And as Christy has noted, Martha's daughter has NOTHING to say. This show will finish its run and be done.
C-

Did we really need another Invasion of the Body Snatchers ripoff? If the show is Invasion, then the answer is no. I have only watched the first episode, and I might watch more since the episodes are already recorded, but so far this show has exhibited lazy writing and poor pacing.
D+

Everybody Hates Chris has potential, but so far it hasn't been very funny. And it is supposed to take place in 1982, though you would never know it from the hairstyles of Chris' parents. Were black men already shaving their heads in 1982? Unless your name is Scatman Crothers, I don't think so.
C

Right now I do not have HBO, so I am missing Rome. Considering The Sopranos is supposed to be back in March, I guess I will pick up HBO again. Especially if I can get a deal with the cable company.

Biting The Hand In Chicago

My plan Friday was to get to the arena by 3:00. Unfortunately, Christy had to stay at work, despite having requested the afternoon off previously. She would be looking for another job if the money was not so good. Anyway, we did not end up leaving here until after 3. Which meant we ran into rush hour traffic, adding another hour to our drive. By the time we checked into the hotel and walked over to the arena, it was well after 7 and the opening act was about over. Why am I mentioning this? Well, it turns out that about 30 people were let in to see the end of the NIN soundcheck and there was a "meet and greet" with the band. I knew this was a possibility, which is why I wanted to arrive early. However, apparently I would have had to be in line at the very latest by 3 (to be among the first 30 people), and a nearly 2 hour wait in line was necessary, as the 30 people were not let in until 4:45. Saturday was a cold day in Chicago, and with my recently injured back I don't think I would have had the patience to wait, not knowing for sure if they would let anyone in, as they don't always do it.

A 3 day old hotdog and a large drink were $9.50. A beer was $6.50.

The opening acts did not do much for us. We only saw the last two songs by Autolox. They had a great female drummer, but little else to offer. Queens of the Stone Age surprised me. Or, I should say, the lack of fans for Queens of the Stone Age surprised me. NIN fans are notoriously fickle about their music. As about 99% of the people there were only on hand to see NIN, you can imagine how cold the general audience reaction was to obviously inferior music. Even the people standing right in front of the stage were behaving like zombies during Queens' set. Would this catatonic state continue into the NIN set?

Thankfully, no. The difference was night and day. The crowd in the pit surged forward, hopped up and down, and generally put forth a chaotic physical melee. We were up in the safety of reserved seating. Did I say seating? Everyone in our section stood for the entire 21 song set. A jaw-dropping number of people were singing along. My best guess is that 80% of attendees were hardcore NIN fans. And a shocking number were women. There might have been more women than men in my section, though in the rough and tumble pit area it was probably more men. The average age was impossible to tell, though there could not have been many people older than me, or younger than 20. Enough with the demographics. Was the show good? Yes. With me, that was practically a given. But even Christy gave it high marks, despite not being familiar with anything besides Closer and Hurt. The energy level displayed by Mr. Reznor was astounding. The music was top notch also, despite the presence of a brand new drummer who played NIN songs for the first time at a midnight rehearsal the night before. Up next-the St. Louis show later this week.

A couple pics-first, a frame from a video taken of the meet and greet-


Performing-

Somewhere, Kubrick Is Smiling

This has been circulating the Internet this week. Keep it in mind whenever a trailer for a movie piques your interest. A long time ago I decided to avoid trailers whenever possible. I hate when they are misleading. Even worse are the trailers (seemingly most of them nowadays) that spoil integral surprises in the plot.